This is Your Life

It’s strange how hearing a comment directed to someone else can hit you like a brick.  In this new year, I started with a promise to myself to press on, challenge myself, and move onto whatever it is that God wants and expects of me.  So when I heard my husband make a comment to one of his children, it side-swiped me in a way I didn’t expect.  The comment was, ‘This is your life.’

Of course, he was pointing his child towards Jesus and his point was simply to say .. what you see is what you get.  You can’t do this alone.  You need God.

For me, it meant something completely different.

I already have God.  I already have a strong relationship with Him.  Not that we can’t all stand to have a reminder or two to get back on track, but it would be just that, a little reminder.  Forgive me for being real here, but it turns out, life isn’t much different with God as it was without God.

I’m referring to the problems and challenges that I had before.  I still wrestle with insecurities and I find that I still have a list of faults that I’m working on improving.  My children are still rebellious at times, I still have debts, arguments, get mad a time or two, and well … life still happens.

I’m not really sure what I expected.  However, admittedly, I often find myself seeking inside wondering when I will have that big God moment where He speaks audibly telling me exactly what it is I’m supposed to be doing.  My husband’s comment was like that voice telling me to simply … live your life.

I can only imagine that it had to be similar for the Israelites in the Wilderness.  God rescued them and performed miraculously wonders proving that He was for them only to put them … in the wilderness for 40 years.  Sure, God was still caring for their needs, but boy, life sure was different.  They were rescued to wander around aimlessly?  We look from the outside and say they brought it on themselves, but if you think about it, we do the same thing.  At least I know I do.

I’ve got all my needs met.  God constantly provides me with manna from Heaven.  I always have just the right word when I need it and it never comes from a source I would have expected.  And what’s my response?  To complain that I’m wondering around in circles waiting for some direction to the supposed ‘promised land.’

After my husband’s comment, I thought, what if this is it?  What if there is never any BIG call other than to simply do what I can where I am at?  To simply move forward?  What if nothing out of the ordinary happens?  What if I am expected to simply ‘live my life for God?’  What if there is never any ‘Moses’ moment for me?  What if I was called to be one of the unmentioned disciples?

Wow!  Talk about a reflection!  I had to confront that Passion I feel inside and truly face  … dare I say it … pride.  Do I chase God’s work for His glory or mine?  Not to say that I don’t think we should do great things for God.  However, I honestly believe that we neglect the bigness of simply being a reflection for God.  The bigness of being one of the unmentionables.

I also think we forget that living life is a miracle itself.  How difficult it is to live life and NOT focus on the problems?  With God, we have a new perspective and living daily, being content with where He has put me, with a smile on my face, or getting back up each time I fall is a BIG deal.  This IS being a light.  It does make a difference because those around me who don’t know God have a reference point to see, the right way IS towards God.

I don’t think it means that I have to give up on the Passion that I feel to do something great for God.  I think it means facing up to just how big that job really is.  A kingdom isn’t built on just a few souls, it’s built on a whole lot of people doing little things daily which amounts to a whole lot of light reflecting God’s glory.  Not my glory .. God’s glory.

So this is my life.  Turns out I’m okay with simply living it.  If I never get to be a Moses, a Mary, Ruth, Paul, or David, well … that’s okay.  I’m a Dionne.  My part is not mentioned at all in the Book on your shelf, but it turns out, there’s another book that I am found in and well … that’s the one that really matters.

I’ve got Big things to accomplish.  Love that needs to be given.  Laughs that need to be had.  Fights that need to be fought.  Tears that need to be shed.  Struggles that need to be faced.  Faith that needs to be shared.  I’ve got a life that needs to be lived!

Turns out, the promised land is     ….    Life.

Reflecting on Expectations

This last Sunday, Pastor gave a great message.  It was one on reflection.  It was one of those messages where God is diving deep into your heart revealing some un-pleasantries that were hiding in a dark crevice tucked behind a bunch of justifications.  Since then, I’ve been doing my best to confront this particular dust ball head on.  Today, I realized that perhaps what I’ve really been doing is hanging on to expectations.

I don’t think it’s bad to have expectations.  As a matter of fact, they can help people.  Expecting good things is well … a good thing.  But I’ve found that personally, when my expectations are repeatedly returned with disappointment, I tend to go in what I would refer to as, hibernation mode.

Maybe it’s because I’m not really sure how to handle the situation.  Actually, I know that’s part of it.  I tend to look at what I can do differently so I tend to withdraw believing that it’s best to think on it before reacting.  Problem is, the repeated disappointment results in growing distrust and disgust that, unchecked, seeps out as sarcastic anger.

I had the revelation that the real problem I was contending with was holding onto expectations that I should really just turn over to Jesus.  I’m not quite sure that this will solve my dilemma, but I do feel as though it’s a good place to start.  I also feel it’s a much better option than attempting to simply manipulating myself or anyone else into believing that things are ‘just fine.’

Perhaps the distrust that I experience has more to do with the expectations I put out rather than a real trust issue.  Turns out however, that I can not deny the fact that distrust ultimately means a lack of faith in God’s ability.  I would never willingly say that I didn’t have faith in what God can do, however the repeated issue of distrust tells me … yep, there’s a malfunctioning wire that needs correction.

Ugh .. the double-edged sword of cleaning up your heart.  Feels good when it’s done, but dang .. it’s a lot of work to get there.

I’m not completely sure how to sort out all these expectations quite yet.  Turns out I’ve a heap of them that have been collecting for some time.  Maybe in the end Jesus will tell me that there are a few I should keep, but in the mean time, I really need His help to determine which ones to toss and which ones to give Him for safe keeping.

Oddly, just talking about the job is making me feel better already.  I’m okay with a little work.  Especially if it means cleaning up that sess pool that was seething at me in the mirror the other day.  Yikes!

Speaking of reflections, turns out it was a good thing I put that reminder on the mirror to not forget my smile.  🙂

Resting in His hope …

I don’t know if it’s just because I’m seeing progress in a place where I wasn’t sure there was any or if because God has endowed me with an extra portion of faith and hope, but I truly have an optimism for the future.

The messages haven’t changed .. I still recognize the constant barrage of ‘fear tactics’ from the ‘enemy.’  I still see the dreadful things that are happening all around the world.  I watch and pray for Israel as it continues to get bombed.  And still, the message of hope is there.

I know we are on the cusp of something great, and potentially terrifying, and still .. I have hope.

Maybe we are decades away still from Jesus’ return or perhaps it could happen within the next year.  But it honestly doesn’t matter because right now .. I have hope.

What a blessed thing it is!  I’m so thankful for God and His glorious ways.  I’m so thankful for His Holy Spirit that continues to work on me .. challenge after challenge growing and changing me.  Keeping me moving forward.  Keeping me on the path towards His righteousness.

Every once in a while He gives you a glimpse of what He’s been doing in your life and let’s you know .. your role really matters.

I had someone in my life tell me that just recently.  Someone that I have been spiritually battling for.  Silently I’ve been in the back corner, constantly watching, praying and loving .. even when it wasn’t always easy.  This is someone whom I never expected to hear much from.  I never started the battle looking to hear those words, but feeling the words of thankfulness spoken at a time when I least expected it made … such a difference.  The battle isn’t over, but hearing those words spoken from this person .. someone who didn’t acknowledge my efforts before, has really put a boost in my step.

I’m so thankful.  Not just for God’s part in my life, but the bond that God is creating between me and others.

It really is about loving God and loving people.

Today .. I hope that you too, feel blessed!  🙂

Umm … that was awkward

Have you ever witnessed spiritual bloodshed?  In our day and age, it’s not only something that we witness and partake in, but something that they create entire television series on.  This is the battle of the tongue where people lash and gash at each other with verbal assaults.

I almost think this kind of assault is worse than murder.  Jesus claims it’s the same.  In a murder, the body you just took the life of doesn’t get back up.  In the world of the tongue however, the body may be bloody, but it gets right back up.  Umm .. can we say, awkward?

I’m guessing now that the political race is over, this is how many must feel.  After the most expensive presidential race in our history, our ballots have been cast and counted, it turns out, not much has changed.  We are right where we left off.  So now what?

Can I just tell you that I really feel a lot of hope for our future?  Truthfully, I cast my vote for Jesus, along with 2 million other voters, and it turns out that Almighty God said .. ‘Let it remain.’  It’s almost like Dad stepped up, took a look and said, ‘You all got in this mess together and you will sit here and work it out together.’

Seriously!  This excites me.  We have been through 9/11 and we lost several thousand lives.  It shook our nation!  There are many that believe this was a wake up call to our nation because we have strayed from God.  I can’t help but suspect they might be right.  But yet, God hasn’t destroyed us, as He did Sodom and Gomorrah.  I see Him giving us mercy after mercy!  He is working with us to correct us instead of simply destroying us!  WOW!

Even as our country has fallen into economic debt, I see this as hope.  I suspect that we are on the cusp of some awesome things to come .. but I see God’s hand orchestrating and waking us up.  Waking us up to realize that we all need Him, not just the homosexuals and those that have had abortions.  But what about us?  Weren’t we using our tongue casting spiritual bloodshed just yesterday?  Did we not involve ourselves in that?  Truth is, it isn’t just those that carry their sins on their sleeves that need a big dose of repentance and fear of God, but ALL of us do.

I really do believe that Jesus wants to deliver all of us from sin.  Things may be awkward today because yesterday, we were all picking sides.  But today, we’re all still on the same team.  It’s like God is saying it’s time to play together and allow God to work in all our lives.

We can either choose to come together and work towards that goal, or we can make things worse and give the Mormon’s a chance to have their White Horse prophecy come to pass at the next election because it didn’t play out this round.

I’m personally choosing to support our president, our God chosen leadership, in prayer.  No, I don’t agree with all his decisions, but I know this, my duty as a God-fearing Christian is to pray that God would lead and direct him and open his eyes to God’s ways.  This is exactly what I intend to do!

The blood bath is over and luckily, the only real lives that were lost were due to the destruction of Hurricane Sandy, a natural disaster.  Today though, we have a chance to start a new, roll our sleeves up and say, ‘Okay.  Let’s get back to work.’

I’m excited about what God is gonna’ do!

Awake not love until it so desires …

As a woman, I can say that I’ve had a good look at how the world expects us women to act.  This, of course, was before I knew Christ.

In the world, society teaches us that we are to dress a certain way … typically as eye candy to ‘please a man.’  We are to act a certain way … typically a bit on the ‘seductive’ side with flirtatious demeanor.  And in today’s world, as women, we are to even be the ‘huntress’ … typically we are expected to be the ones to lure men.

This is what society teaches our girls from a very young age.  This thought process, in my opinion, is one of the major factors that leads to teen pregnancy, broken hearts, broken relationships, and ultimately a society full of divorce.  Our girls are being taught that love is all physical, from how you look to getting a man to touch you.  And our boys are being taught that they have their pick of the litter, devaluing the real beauty of what a woman has to offer.  Every where you look there are love-sick souls seeking a love that just doesn’t really seem to be attainable.  Wounded hearts .. warped minds .. and laden with all kinds of physical and emotional diseases in the aftermath.

But the Bible teaches a different kind of love.

In the Song of Solomon, it’s a beautiful book of love and passion … romance.  It speaks even of sexuality .. embracing, kissing, and of physical intimacy through caressing using language that made me blush the first time I read it!  After all, it is the Bible.  But this is not a book about sex.  It’s a book about love and desire.  The biggest message I hear is … awake not love until it so desires.

In our society, desire drives us.  We ‘long’ to be loved and ‘crave’ it so much that we find ourselves, both men and women, doing silly and hurtful things to ourselves to find it.  Yet the Bible tells us to wait for it.

When we take time to allow it to happen and not rush it, we allow God to open the door to passion on His timing.  In our ‘NOW’ driven society, it’s hard for us to imagine waiting, but when we do, we allow God to create something that we could only know because we waited for Him.

I was reminded this morning of Christ’s love towards me.  After a short but heartfelt prayer inviting Christ in to my heart today, I felt Him draw near just a short time later.  I could feel Him embracing me.  As I continued on in my day, tears came to my eyes as something caught my attention that only He could know I had been thinking about.  I knew that He had been paying attention and listening to me.  I knew that He cared.  Honestly, I can say that I am blessed because I have those moments with God.  I have experienced an intimacy that I know others have not.  I have spent time getting to know Him and waiting for Him to reveal Himself to me.  But to me, that’s the easy part.  After all, He’s God.  He can read my thoughts and His spirit is in me.  However, I know that His desire is not just that we would have this great thing with Him, but that His church, His bride, His children .. would understand that He desires for us to experience that same level of love towards one another.

So I’m not really quite sure exactly how to do that.  Truthfully, I’m still figuring it out myself.  I sometimes want to rush into the ‘feel good’ moments with people because I too, am still in this world.  But one thing I do know is that it involves waiting.  I’m thankful that I have a close relationship with Christ because when I get impatient and want to rush, He somehow gives me a gentle look and I’m compelled to continue to wait for His timing.  When I feel I’ve done all I can do with no results and want to move on to something else, He gently puts His arm around me and somehow, waiting doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

Awake not love until it so desires …

I’m fairly certain that Jesus has big things in store for those who wait.  I’m fairly certain it involves that love that seems to be so unattainable in this world.  As a matter of a fact, I’m certain of it because He’s given me glimpses of it .. and not just with Him .. but with my beloved husband, my children, and even an occasional fellow Christian or two that I’ve encountered in my walk.

When you wait for love instead of forcing it … it’s so much more than what the world has to offer …. it’s absolutely … breathless!

 

 

 

 

What it looks like at our house

I don’t know what being a follower of Christ looks like at your house, but let me give you a glimpse of what it looks like at ours.  I came home from work the other day to a very excited husband!  About a year ago, he enlisted my help in redoing his 1965 Chevelle.  He took the engine out, then put me to work sand blasting the rust.  Yesterday, after many hours of work, my husband finally got the engine compartment, frame, and wheels painted!

He was proud as a peach and you would have thought he just did a major marathon.  He was talking a mile a minute about his task.  It looked fabulous!  Knowing what a tedious job it was to sand blast, I appreciated what it must have been to paint it.  He was telling me how the special thick paint that we had gotten was getting stuck in the spray can and he says, excitedly, ‘I was like … ohhh Jesus! Please help me!’  He continued to share how he kept appealing to Jesus to help him get the task done.  And with Jesus’ help, complete it he did!

Of course, it doesn’t always look as fun, and sometimes we struggle because we know we may not have hit the mark.  Sometimes, when I’ve been a bit cranky, my husband will ask me, ‘Have you prayed today?’  Jesus is always there in the really tough moments, but maybe in those moments, we lose sight of Him until after the dust has settled.  But once the dust settles, we spend time asking for forgiveness .. not just to Jesus, but to each other.

Sometimes following Jesus at our house is just lying in bed, listening to my husband at 4 in the morning because he can’t sleep.  I hear him softly whispering prayers to Jesus.  Sometimes it’s listening to my hubby sing the good ole’ Jesus songs that speak of the Cross and the power of Jesus’ blood.

I guess at our house, we figure that following Jesus means including Him in on the little things in our life just as much as the big things when we really need Him.

 

Let the walls be shaken!

As I was lying here waiting to get out of my comfy cozy bed, I was replaying some of the events of the past couple days.  Unfortunately, I was revisiting some of the challenges I’ve been experiencing.

I could feel myself wanting to replay the negative emotions that come with challenges.  As I recalled each situation, I did my best to pray through these emotions and memories and ask God to truly help me move past and beyond the garbage.  Not always an easy task.

Then I had a thought.  I remember Paul and Silas, the story where they were in prison and at midnight, they began to praise Jesus.  As they praised Him, the shackles were undone and the walls caved so they were free to walk out if they so chose to.  So I politely asked Jesus to help me look up instead of around and began praying the Lord’s prayer, then moved on to sing some worship songs in my head.

As I began to let my soul sing, I began to feel the weight lift.  It was getting a little easier to move beyond the situation.  I then began recalling some of the thoughts of hope that God has given me regarding the future and what’s to come.

I got to thinking that unfortunately, when I have those bad vision moments, what it really does is suck the joy out of me.  And when the joy is sucked out, all that happens is pretty much nothing .. stagnation .. like Paul and Silas, seeing myself in prison.

However, through God’s grace, when I get through the moment by praising Jesus and getting beyond, not only is my joy restored, but God grants us the ability to actually help others.  It’s as if joy is the energy that allows us to walk on the water and reach down and help others walk on the water too.

Paul and Silas didn’t simply walk out of the prison, they actually stayed and ministered to the prison guard, saving him from suicide and then saving the man and his house through baptism.

The really amazing part .. get this .. if I’m reading the scripture correctly, Act 16:35 tells us they must have gone back to the jail because it tells us the next day that the magistrates sent the serjeants to set the men free!  They didn’t run while they had the chance .. they actually waited for God’s prompting to be released!  This amazes me!

Not only did praising God create an earthquake to give the men the allowance to be free, but because the men waited on God, ministering through the challenge, the men were not only released, but the incident created a wave to let people know without doubt .. this was God’s doing.

Sometimes, we are so quick to want to move through the trial that we forget about the importance of the tool of praise and joy through the bad.

Wow!  Let the walls be shaken!

Chugga .. chugga ..

Hmmm … I was feeling a bit overwhelmed yesterday, then I realized that I was running around trying to catch what must have been bad eggs being thrown at me.  Almost like I was in a circus act with the devil.  Apparently I have been feeling that it would be absolutely dreadful to drop the eggs.  Then last night, I remembered .. oh yeh, Jesus already won the battle.  That means, if I drop an egg or two, it’s no big deal.  It might get a little stinky from the egg, but life and death is not dependent on me.  Ahhhhh … relief!

However, the eggs still keep coming.  Then I remembered the story about the ‘Little Engine That Could.’  You remember, the little blue train engine that had to pull his load up a big hill and didn’t think he could?  I can’t remember who encouraged him, but someone did and the thought, ‘I think I can .. I think I can,’ helped him defeat the hill.  I decided why not look at these eggs as a challenge to be overcome?

It’s not often that I get a chance to actually realize what’s being thrown at me.   Typically it looks more like a massive mess with me having egg all over my face.  I figure why not use this as an opportunity to overcome the challenges being thrown at me .. fear, intimidation, bullying, anger, rage, obstinance .. just to name a few.  If I drop an egg or two, it’s no big deal.  I’m not expected to be perfect and I truly do understand and appreciate mercy and grace that Jesus grants me.  I also have a better understanding, after listening to Joyce Myers, that grace is to help you handle the situation as Jesus would want you to handle the situation .. not just cover up any messes I make.

So with the help of almighty God, I’m poised and ready to catch these bad eggs!  I woke up with an extra heaping of faith and hope this morning for breakfast so, here we go .. I think I can!

Chugga .. chugga ..

The Pride of Life

A couple of years ago, God took me through some ‘lessons in life’ if you will.  One particular lesson, I was at a youth baseball team.  My son was playing.  He was new and not as good as some of the other boys who had been playing for years.  When he was up to bat, I prayed that God would help him hit.  I felt in my spirit though, God telling me to just watch.  God wasn’t going to give him a hit.  I knew this.  True enough, he ended up striking out.  I could tell he was frustrated.  But the team and the coach cheered him on and he continued the game.  The next time he was up to bat, he swung a little better, but once again, struck out.  It wasn’t until the third time up, that he finally hit and made it to 2nd base.

As much as I wanted my little boy not to fail, I learned the lesson of God allowing us to achieve versus simply getting an easy hit from God.  My little boy had a sense of accomplishment because he stuck it out, didn’t quit, and when he hit, it was because of his efforts to improve his swing.

I heard a sermon once by Gerald Jeffers where he spoke of pride.  The angle was different from what you think though.  It was very similar to the lesson God gave me.  Essentially, the message was that we get so hung up as Christians on not being prideful that we forget the importance of playing a role in working for God.  It’s good to know that we play a part.  It’s okay to be excited and proud of our accomplishments.  Yes, there is a fine line where pride can get in the way and create a problem if we aren’t careful, but shouldn’t we trust that God will correct us if we get out of line?

It’s not a bad thing to want to be a better witness, to want to learn how to be more effective at spiritual discernment, to desire a better handle on teaching Bible studies.  And it’s also okay to take pride in yourself for the accomplishments you’ve made.  You should be proud of yourself when you look at your walk and realize that you’ve come so far from where you started.  Of course, that is assuming you’ve gotten closer to God instead of further.

Funny that He would use kids to show me that lesson.  Sometimes I forget I’m just a kid in God’s eyes.  🙂

My ray of sunshine

As a massage therapist, I spend the majority of my day in a dark room with low light.  I relish in those days that I have an opportunity to enjoy a little ray of sunshine.  Here in Wisconsin, after a night of fresh fallen rain, there is a beautiful wind in the air!

As I was standing at the hot dog stand for lunch, I had to laugh as I looked at the parking lot.  Here, man had done such a magnificent job of making room for himself … pretty little perpendicular lines and everything!  But wouldn’t you know it, in the midst of this black top/concrete lot, little sprouts and sprigs of growth were popping up.

When God wants to grow something, no manner of concrete, asphalt, or any other man-made method is going to stop Him from planting where He wants to plant!

Ha! Ha!  Got to love Him!