It’s strange how hearing a comment directed to someone else can hit you like a brick. In this new year, I started with a promise to myself to press on, challenge myself, and move onto whatever it is that God wants and expects of me. So when I heard my husband make a comment to one of his children, it side-swiped me in a way I didn’t expect. The comment was, ‘This is your life.’
Of course, he was pointing his child towards Jesus and his point was simply to say .. what you see is what you get. You can’t do this alone. You need God.
For me, it meant something completely different.
I already have God. I already have a strong relationship with Him. Not that we can’t all stand to have a reminder or two to get back on track, but it would be just that, a little reminder. Forgive me for being real here, but it turns out, life isn’t much different with God as it was without God.
I’m referring to the problems and challenges that I had before. I still wrestle with insecurities and I find that I still have a list of faults that I’m working on improving. My children are still rebellious at times, I still have debts, arguments, get mad a time or two, and well … life still happens.
I’m not really sure what I expected. However, admittedly, I often find myself seeking inside wondering when I will have that big God moment where He speaks audibly telling me exactly what it is I’m supposed to be doing. My husband’s comment was like that voice telling me to simply … live your life.
I can only imagine that it had to be similar for the Israelites in the Wilderness. God rescued them and performed miraculously wonders proving that He was for them only to put them … in the wilderness for 40 years. Sure, God was still caring for their needs, but boy, life sure was different. They were rescued to wander around aimlessly? We look from the outside and say they brought it on themselves, but if you think about it, we do the same thing. At least I know I do.
I’ve got all my needs met. God constantly provides me with manna from Heaven. I always have just the right word when I need it and it never comes from a source I would have expected. And what’s my response? To complain that I’m wondering around in circles waiting for some direction to the supposed ‘promised land.’
After my husband’s comment, I thought, what if this is it? What if there is never any BIG call other than to simply do what I can where I am at? To simply move forward? What if nothing out of the ordinary happens? What if I am expected to simply ‘live my life for God?’ What if there is never any ‘Moses’ moment for me? What if I was called to be one of the unmentioned disciples?
Wow! Talk about a reflection! I had to confront that Passion I feel inside and truly face … dare I say it … pride. Do I chase God’s work for His glory or mine? Not to say that I don’t think we should do great things for God. However, I honestly believe that we neglect the bigness of simply being a reflection for God. The bigness of being one of the unmentionables.
I also think we forget that living life is a miracle itself. How difficult it is to live life and NOT focus on the problems? With God, we have a new perspective and living daily, being content with where He has put me, with a smile on my face, or getting back up each time I fall is a BIG deal. This IS being a light. It does make a difference because those around me who don’t know God have a reference point to see, the right way IS towards God.
I don’t think it means that I have to give up on the Passion that I feel to do something great for God. I think it means facing up to just how big that job really is. A kingdom isn’t built on just a few souls, it’s built on a whole lot of people doing little things daily which amounts to a whole lot of light reflecting God’s glory. Not my glory .. God’s glory.
So this is my life. Turns out I’m okay with simply living it. If I never get to be a Moses, a Mary, Ruth, Paul, or David, well … that’s okay. I’m a Dionne. My part is not mentioned at all in the Book on your shelf, but it turns out, there’s another book that I am found in and well … that’s the one that really matters.
I’ve got Big things to accomplish. Love that needs to be given. Laughs that need to be had. Fights that need to be fought. Tears that need to be shed. Struggles that need to be faced. Faith that needs to be shared. I’ve got a life that needs to be lived!
Turns out, the promised land is …. Life.