Unsettled ..

I have to tell you that there are times in my life when I take a stand, but honestly, it makes my gut wrench because it’s really uncomfortable.  I don’t think it’s a lack of faith .. I think it’s more knowing the realization of the scripture ‘Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.’  Mat 10:34.

Swinging a sword means war .. the next verse says, ‘For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s foes will be those of his own household.’

Ugh .. this is the part about being a Christian that is really hard, swinging the sword.  It’s easy to swing when it’s someone you don’t know so well.  With skill and ease and a bit of confidence, we handle it and gently swing and cut without any errors.  But when it comes to the ones we love .. the ones we have to see everyday .. the ones who know we haven’t always had access to the sword .. let’s just say it can look more like the blood bath that the Bible suggests in this verse.  Aiy!

It’s never easy taking a stand and honestly, this always leaves me unsettled.  I wrestle with my actions .. my thoughts .. my motives .. and still have to somehow just go forward trusting that if I cut someone’s ear off because of my zealous reaction, Jesus will gently put it back on.

Sigh ..

I suppose this is probably why doctors don’t doctor their own family.  I guess I probably wouldn’t want my dad coming at me with a knife, especially if I had just gone and done something I knew I wasn’t supposed to be doing.  Ugh!  I know this too shall pass, but in the meantime, I feel like I’m walking up hill in a pile of mud.




2 thoughts on “Unsettled ..

  1. sudebaker says:

    Well said. I, too, feel this way when I have to take a stand. I always thought it was cowardice. Now I can see it’s just a bit of nerves and wanting to be extra careful.

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