In my every day struggle of life, I do my best to walk in God’s ways. Turns out it’s not always as easy as one would hope. Sometimes we have to make tough decisions and stand on principles knowing that doing so is gonna’ create some waves. Those are the decisions where my gut wrenches. I wrestle with my own conscience to make certain, ‘Am I doing this for the right reason? Is this principle or am I harboring vengeance?’ Literally I wrestle to make certain that my words and actions are according to God’s agenda, not my own. Yes, I react. However as I grow spiritually, my life is less reaction and more proactive … stop. think. okay .. act. These have been storms that I have had to weather over the past few months.
As I’ve gone through the storms, I felt the pelt of wind damage and stood my ground, when honestly I wasn’t always sure I was right. There isn’t always clear answers in the Bible for the minor details of life. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to wrestle with things that seem so insignificant to every one else. But I do.
I remember when I was taught about the Holy Spirit and how we become dead to the old man and become a new one. Truthfully, at first it was easy. As a new convert, still in my little bubble, it was like nothing got in the way and putting off the old man was easy. But the longer you walk in the Spirit, the more you realize, God expects you to get out of the bubble and start taking the reigns which means not just leaning on Him to do all the work for you, but actually paying attention to the things He’s teaching you. I don’t have a problem paying attention. The problem has more often been that the lessons don’t always seem so clear. Sometimes that storm feels like I’m walking through a maze blindfolded! Ugh!
However, there are those moment where God gives you glimpses of hope to show that you have not only maintained your footing, but were able to gain a little ground through the storm. It’s funny because when I found out that my intuition and promptings were right on, and that my steadfast stance did what I was hoping it would, my reaction is simply … gratefulness. I don’t like to create waves. However, if I creating the wave is what it takes to help someone else grow and move forward, I have learned that sometimes we have no choice but to do that.
It’s also interesting to me how when you stand on God’s ways and truly allow Him to search your heart through the storm, God has a way of calming the storm and maintaining some of the landscape that surely I thought, might be destroyed. Truly, I am grateful. Turns out that despite the rage of the storm, the aftermath isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Almost like being in a hurricane and after it blows over, there wasn’t much damage at all.
Aah … Yes … grateful. That’s a miracle that only God Himself can pull off!
Thank you Jesus!